Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
