so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
