I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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