nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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