i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
