Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
