are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
