Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
