Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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