I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You can't just leave with hair like that
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
