Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
