He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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