I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I look better un-naked...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
