I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
