That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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