ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
