i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
