More tranny stories later!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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