I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
