JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
last night I used snow as a chaser
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
