**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
