Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
