You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
