I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
