You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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