OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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