Someone shit on the floor
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
