i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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