i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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