I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
