that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I want to be your penis for a week.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
