they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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