You're completely useless in the revolution.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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