Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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