you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
