her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
