i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
