Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
