Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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