help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
