i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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