just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
