yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
