yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
