Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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