my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
