Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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