I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
