Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
