I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
