I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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