I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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