idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize