i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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