We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
