When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
