Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
