Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
