i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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