I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
