Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
