i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
