on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize