who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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