dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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